There’s a loner in every group of friends, and although most people consider them weird or even bad, loners are neither good or bad. Of course, there’s a big difference between socially rejected people and loners – they’re not one and the same.
Loners are individuals who like spending time alone instead of going out with friends. They don’t feel the need to be socially accepted – they engage with the world in a different way. They stick to their own ideas and contrary to popular belief, they do have friends. They just choose not to socialize like most people and hold a high standard for trust and relationships.
Loners understand they are better off alone rather than spending time with fake friends. They have a lot of friends but don’t understand the concept of a best friend. They do have a friend they are connected with better and prefer spending time with them. However, these friends are quite rare nowadays – it’s hard for loners to find them, so they don’t settle for anybody.
Loners will never attach to anyone, although they’re very loyal. They are usually much more intelligent than others and use their “Me” time to study everything that interests them. No matter what people say, introverts and extroverts can both be loners.
Most people think that loners have an irrational fear of socializing, but that’s not true. According to psychologist Jonathan Creek, they don’t need affiliation like most people. Sometimes, this may be inherited if they’ve grown up in a family that values privacy over everything else.
Unhealthy Cases of Loners
Loners are indeed quite close to being socially anxious. Some experts consider them “pathologically shy”, while others think loners are what they are because of bad social experiences when they were children. There’s also the case of the so-called “enforced loners” who want to socialize but are prevented in doing so by anxiety and shyness. Over time, they become introverts who can rarely make friends just because they’re too shy.
For these loners, the stress may be too much to bear. They get butterflies in their stomach whenever they have to face someone and won’t seek social support like most people do in cases of private problems. This social isolation is a major health-risk factor that has been compared to smoking or obesity.
Although loners are seen as weird and are constantly pitied, they can reap secret joy from their solitary life. If used correctly, they can become great people who will eventually find people who suit them and have some sort of social contact.