All the people on Earth can be divided into 3 categories – givers, takers, and the ones that come in-between. If we’re being honest, most people fall under the third category. Not that anything’s wrong about being a giver or taker, but these people are a minority. Givers most often have only self-interest in mind, while takers have a benevolent nature.
Givers are kind, empathetic, and warm-hearted souls. When they give something to others (it can be anything from time to resources), they feel bliss and joy for the both of them. We actually need more givers right now, considering the state the society’s in. However, the act can surprisingly become counterproductive over time. It essentially gives givers a chance to benefit from their kindness, which can turn into a habit.
This is why the act of giving should be balanced. This will prevent regret and guilt, prevent self-centered jerks from getting close and ruining your life, and prevent ‘leeches’ which will never stop asking for ‘help’. If you’re a giver, you need to recognize the early signs that you’re giving too much if you want to stay independent and protect your integrity. Here are 5 of them:
You Never Say No
Not being able to say No will eventually get you into a world of trouble. If you find yourself cringing inside when you agree to do something, it’s a sign that you’re giving too much of yourself. Remember – you always have the right to say No to anything, regardless of the situation. Don’t let others pressure you into giving in to their needs – sometimes, you should think more about yourself.
You Solve Everyone’s Problems
Sure, helping your friends and family members solve their problems is great, but doing it non-stop can lead you to a lot of unnecessary drama. The real problems will start when everyone will look at you as their therapist while you’re already spread too thin. Don’t solve everyone’s problems all the time – sometimes, people need to fix their problems on their own.
You Have No ‘Me’ Time
We all have things to do and places to go. There’s less and less time for fun and sleep nowadays and we all need sleep and relaxation. If you want to stay happy and productive, you must relax your brain and body – it’s the only way to keep going. Don’t limit your R&R because others need you – if you want to function, you need to have some ‘Me’ time.
Even if you do get ‘high’ by helping others, you’re only human and can’t help everyone. Over time, the elevated stress levels and the rush of adrenaline can cause serious problems and alter your brain’s chemistry. If this happens, you can’t really know what can happen, and that can be a problem.
If you’re feeling unhappy and suffering quite often, don’t push yourself any further. You can’t help anyone, but you can destroy your body and mind if you don’t know when to relax.
Drama, Drama, Drama!
Having too much drama in your life is a major sign that you’ve reached your helping limits. Yes, there are some people who enjoy drama, but no one likes it every day in their life. Giving too much of yourself will cause even more drama in your life, essentially destroying your mental and physical well-being.
If you experience all the aforementioned problems, we suggest taking a break from work and social life. If this doesn’t help, you might need professional help – we’d suggest talking to a therapist.